Simply Misunderstood XO

Because healing doesn’t follow a script—and neither should your grief.

When you’re grieving, the world keeps spinning, but you feel like you’ve stepped off the axis. People will hand you platitudes, offer advice, or tell you to “stay strong.” But the truth? Grief is not something to fix. It’s something to carry—and eventually, grow around.

These are 10 lesser-known ways to cope with grief. They’re not cure-alls. They won’t “make it better.” But they might help you breathe. And sometimes, that’s enough.

1. Let Yourself Miss Them on Purpose

Instead of pushing it away, lean in. Play their favorite song. Look through photos. Say their name out loud. Grief doesn’t grow smaller by ignoring it—it softens when it’s seen.

2. Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself

You may carry guilt, anger, or “what ifs.” But grief often distorts memory through a lens of regret. Challenge those thoughts with kindness. You loved them—and that matters more than perfection.

3. Make Space for Grief (Literally)

Create a corner in your home with photos, candles, or mementos. A tangible place to feel, reflect, or just be with your grief can offer comfort when the rest of the world moves on.

4. Talk to Them—Still

Whether it’s out loud, in a journal, or in your head, continuing the conversation helps you process. It’s not weird. It’s connection.

5. Don’t Force the “Firsts”

First birthdays, holidays, anniversaries… there’s no right way to mark them. You don’t have to be brave. You don’t owe anyone a post or a speech. You can honor them quietly—or not at all.

6. Feel Joy Without Guilt

Smiling again doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. Laughter and lightness are part of healing. Your joy honors them, too.

7. Name the Secondary Losses

Grief isn’t just about the person. It’s the routines, roles, and dreams you shared. It’s the future you thought you’d have with them in it. When those imagined moments disappear, it adds another invisible layer to the pain. Naming it helps you feel less confused—and less alone.

8. Protect Your Energy

People mean well, but not everyone is safe to grieve around. It’s okay to step back from those who minimize, rush, or make your grief about them.

9. Grieve in Your Body

Grief lives in more than your mind. It can show up as fatigue, tension, or restlessness. Movement, massage, deep breathing, or even crying it out can help release what words can’t.

10. Let the Grief Evolve

You won’t “get over it.” But you will change your relationship with it. There will come a time when the ache softens and becomes something else: a quiet reminder of how deeply you loved. Grief doesn’t get easier—you just become stronger at carrying it.

There is no right way to grieve. No step-by-step guide. No finish line. But you are not broken for feeling this way. You are grieving—because you loved. And that’s one of the most human things there is.